Thursday, August 22, 2013

And When I Die, and When I'm Gone . . .

Nothing is certain except death and taxes, so the saying goes.  And as much as I hate to admit that I'm pretty much like everybody else, like everybody else, I'm not going to get out of this world alive.  It's a fact.  I don't mean to be macabre, but that's just the way it is.

Therefore, recognizing that it will happen, some day, hopefully far in the future, I think it is best to do a little planning to help my family in the event they must make decisions for me before my demise as well as to help them once it occurs. 

Why do it now? Simply put, I've been influenced by two books in particular.  The title of the first one, At the End of Life:  True Stories About How We Die, by Lee Gutkind, is pretty self-explanatory.  It is a collection of personal accounts written by both health care professionals and loved ones of people who have died that were touched in some way by that death.  Many of the essays were poignant; some were inspirational; some were disconcerting.  The essays confirmed for me that I never want to be subjected to the degradation and suffering of a life prolonged by artificial means at all costs.  There comes a time to go, and if my time should come by way of some debilitating disease or some injury from which recovery will not occur, I just want to go--but more on that another time.

The other book that has led me to this point is The American Way of Death, by Jessica Mitford (as updated in the 1990s).  Why, in God's name, would anyone sink thousands of dollars in the ground with the cost of an elaborate funeral?  I think it's rather silly to overdo a wedding when it's only one day, but at least it will create fond memories meant to last a lifetime.  But with a funeral, there is no lifetime to recall with fondness the hope and beauty of that day.  More on this as well at a later time, but to put it simply, I want a simple send-off.  Absolutely NO PUBLIC VIEWING, and no embalming.  Direct cremation, followed by perhaps a simple memorial service, and then a party for anyone (family, friends, enemies, and people who didn't even know me) who cares to join in the celebration--whether a homegoing celebration or a ding-dong-the-witch-is-dead celebration. 

That's it in a nutshell.  I will expand on this in future postings. 

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